Here are some good tips from successful online daters:

List your deal-makers—and don’t waver
“I think too many people don’t go after what they really want in a relationship and settle for someone early on. Then, they get deeper in and realize it was a mistake. I avoided that by writing down what I wanted in a partner. Either post it in your profile or just keep it in mind when you’re meeting people. My dream guy, for example, had to be liberal, a nonsmoker, and he had to eat healthy and love kayaking, among other things. Some of my friends were a little shocked that my list was so long. I guess if you’re just looking for a good time, then having a list doesn’t matter as much, but if you’re looking for a sustainable relationship, you have ask yourself: What qualities are really important for the long run? I did all my searching based on those key attributes, and I’m now engaged to a guy I met online who meets all ten requirements on my list, including the last one, which was to adore me!”
—Michelle Tennant, 35, Flat Rock, NC; met her fiance online

Make your profile stand out from the pack
“True story: My wife and I got engaged just two weeks after we’d first spotted each other online. I think the key to us finding each other was that I’d just completely re-written my profile. Before this point, my profile was filled with the typical things: What I do for a living, what I like to do on dates, what books I’ve read recently—perfectly polite, charming stuff. Problem is, it looked like every other profile out there. I realized that in order to find my soul mate, I needed to bare my soul a bit and be more emotional. So I went back into my profile and instead of talking about what I did or liked, I explained why. Everyone likes to walk on the beach; but if you explain it’s because you and your dad used to do that as a kid, suddenly you’re revealing something that’s unique. By listing the why’s instead of the what’s, one is more likely to craft a more unique profile which should attract people who are uniquely drawn to you.”
—Steve Peha, 42, Carrboro, NC, met his wife online

Have an online-to-actual-date deadline
“If I think I like someone, I always make sure to meet them in person within a week of the first email contact. Otherwise you get into an ‘online relationship’ and have expectations that might not be met. You have to know how you’ll get along with someone when they don’t have time to compose the perfect email.”
—Gilbert Johnston, 26, Covallis, OR; met his wife online

Do an activity on your first date
“For first dates with people I met online, I usually tried to do an ‘activity date’ like a music festival or amusement park. The advantage is if there’s something to do, even if there’s a lull in the conversation, it’s not awkward. An activity date can really help shy people relax and open up, too. I often suggested activities we’ve both expressed interest in, since that way we’re both in our comfort zone. For example, my boyfriend and I are both gadget freaks, so on our first date I suggested hitting the Sony store that had just opened up nearby. We both worshipped the flat-screen TVs. Now that we live together we talk about getting one.”
—Matt Kennedy, 24, Orlando, FL; dating someone he met online for one year—and has just moved in