One thing that you might have discovered as a single is that others around you have the perception that they either need to hook you up with someone else or they need to keep you busy. As a single, I got more invitations to holiday events, other people’s family gatherings and shopping trips than I could have ever imagined. I constantly had to juggle my calendar to be able to go to everything. It really became a chore. I dreaded opening email or answering the phone because I knew it would be someone needing me or wanting to invite me to yet another activity.

Learning to say “no” will really help you as a single. You hear about setting boundaries and saying “no” to certain things that are against your beliefs on dates. But how often do you hear that you’re supposed to say “no” to relatives and friends that are just trying to include you in on things and activities?

There is the inherent fear of suddenly being alone. If you turn someone down for an invitation one time, will they invite you again later when your schedule isn’t as hectic? Don’t be afraid to say “no” or to be alone. If you tell the person inviting you that you already have plans but would love to go shopping another time or really enjoy coming to dinner another night, more than likely they are going to invite you again. You won’t be stuck alone and you won’t be stuck trying to go to a million activities in one week or one month.

Be honest with relatives and friends. Tell them that you’re really not comfortable going to their niece’s birthday party since you haven’t even met the niece before. Suggest that you go to something else with them at another time or that the two of you get together for breakfast or lunch one Saturday. This will reduce the number of invitations to events you’re not comfortable going to without offending anyone.

Joyce Priddy wrote this on December 23rd, 2007 and filed it under Single Life, after hours |