Great monetary expectations can often be seen in the dating world. Some expect to be treated in a certain way or out the door you go. To get dates, some use tactics to impress, including spending money they don’t have and going in debt.

I have a friend whose long-time friend asked her for a loan. She was amazed because her friend Steve wore designer clothes, always took his dates to the finest restaurants and treated them like queens, at least from his wallet and credit cards. She thought he had plenty of money until he let her in on a secret. He spent money to impress. He got a lot of dates, but as you might guess, Steve has been single for quite some time. The last woman he had a relatively long relationship with, bailed as his money seemed to dwindle. Did Steve set himself up for this?

I believe we draw to us, the same type of person we present ourselves to be, whether we are being real or pretentious. By creating a fantasy of monetary wealth, more than likely people seeking that wealth will be drawn to you, only they aren’t after a fantasy. They want the real thing. When they find out the truth, the bottom often falls out.

You won’t know who is genuinely drawn to you, the person you are, until you drop the facade and be yourself. You may get an abundance of dates, but where does that get you in the big picture. You eventually go in debt and may become emotionally bankrupt from not connecting on a deeper level with others.

If you’re going in debt to impress your dates, you may want to ask yourself why. More than likely it comes from low self-esteem and the need to be accepted. We all want to be accepted, but when you have to “buy” others, it isn’t a true form of acceptance. Dig deep into your core values and hold true to those. Build yourself up by acknowledging your talents, abilities and accomplishments. More than anything…stand tall on a rock of truth and allow others to see who you really are. Your wallet will thank you!

Kathy wrote this on January 18th, 2008 and filed it under Dating, Single Life |