Dating is hard enough without bringing the past into a new relationship. In my last serious relationship (and please keep in mind I too ask myself ‘what the hell were you thinking’ as I am sure some of you may after reading this) there were late night visits from women, knocking on the door. He said she was his best friend’s wife, he was out of town and she needed someone to talk to…again I was nuts. Flowers waiting for us on his door step after returning from a Valentines Day dinner, constant phone calls (he cleared those ones right away), and text messages. I could go on forever. So here I am dating a new boy who is a bit younger but over all seems to be flawless (and I am now good at spotting the red flags, after all I dated the poster boy for red flags for over a year). So now we have flowers on the door step (they were congratulatory….he just signed away his life to the Navy) and drive by’s, and oh his phone blowing up. Unlike my ex he is open about it, he says she is crazy and that he wants to tell me all that happens because he doesn’t want me to have a reason to not trust him. Last night he wrote her an email, he let me read it and I watched him send it away (I didn’t ask, he insisted…although my paranoia wanted to see him hit send). The email said that he has a new relationship, you need to move on and get over us, and that if she continues to stalk me online (oh I forgot to mention that she is constantly on my myspace account) and driving by the house he will get a restraining order.

My question, in case you were wondering if I was just venting, is that if you do happen to find a nice boy to date who seems to be pretty amazing…is the Ex Factor a deal breaker? How much should a single gal dating have to put up with in a new relationship? I am going to see how this progresses but I have to say I feel like I should have to put up with too much more of this, having dealt with it so much in the past.

-B

Becky Hawk wrote this on February 7th, 2008 and filed it under Dating, Single Life |