You’ve met a seemingly very nice person and a date for Saturday evening at 6pm is planned. You both clearly know the day, time, where you are to meet and what you will be doing. Your date seems very enthusiastic to spend the evening with you. At least you think so. As you are looking at the time on Saturday evening, you begin to wonder if you’ve been stood up. An hour after waiting for your date, you realize, they are a no-show!

When you’ve been stood up should you give a 2nd chance? It depends.

If you’ve been stood up and your date hasn’t called later that evening or at all, to explain, I don’t feel they deserve a 2nd chance. Even worse…if the next time you run into them, they act nonchalant about standing you up, they apparently don’t see things the same as you. If they have no respect for your time, for your feelings, their behavior will probably only get worse over time if you continue to date or get into a relationship.

On the flip side…if your date calls later that evening with a legitimate explanation or if an emergency came up and they call the next day or as soon as possible, I feel it’s worth giving them a 2nd chance. They’ve shown respect and acted responsible in clearing up the matter. Emergencies or unexpected situations can come up in all of our lives, but it’s the way we handle them with respect to the other person that makes a difference.  But, if standing you up or being late, becomes a habit, maybe their life is so chaotic, they don’t know how to balance their time or honor commitments. It would take another chance to see if they have a habit of not showing or not calling or if it was a one-time thing.

Too often, we make excuses for others and ignore the red flags, only to be disappointed later on. In today’s world, there are many methods of communication, which makes excuses of not calling, text messaging or emailing all the more lame. If you’ve been stood up, assess the situation to see if the person truly had a good reason and if they handled the situation with respect to you. A person who has a legitimate reason for standing you up, will call later to tell you. You won’t have to call for an explanation. A person who is truly sorry, will apologize on their own. A person who is truly interested will make sure it doesn’t happen again. A person is either responsible and has integrity or they don’t.

Kathy wrote this on February 9th, 2008 and filed it under Dating, Single Life |