Are you single and part of the dating world, but not having much success? Maybe you are a bitter dater, one who carries so much weight of the past, you can’t cut through to the present, nor future.

A bitter dater may want to date. They want to have a social life and possibly a long-term relationship. But, they hold resentment toward everyone who has ever done them wrong. They may already have a preconceived idea of what every member of the opposite sex will do to harm them and they only let people in so far.

The people you are dating pick up on the bitterness. They feel the wall go up as they are trying to get to know you. The comments about how your date reminds you of your ex doesn’t help, considering you’ve talked unfavorably about them. No one likes to feel accused before they’ve committed the crime. Just because your ex cheated on you, doesn’t mean everyone will cheat. Not everyone will lie to you or use you for your money. Not every male is a pig, nor is every woman a gold digger.

Before you go on your next date, ask yourself why you are dating at all if you feel every person is a vulture waiting to attack. Work on your bitterness, your resentment, your anger before pouring these issues onto someone who may be a very good person. We can learn from the past, but if we carry it with us as bitterness, it only becomes a huge burden to ourselves and those we are around.

Look at each person you meet with new eyes. They aren’t your past and they aren’t your ex. Assess each person based on their individualism.

Bitterness is like a stalker. It follows you everywhere you go until you resolve the issues that are causing you to feel this way.

Kathy wrote this on February 22nd, 2008 and filed it under Dating, Single Life |