Meeting and corresponding online is one thing, but when it comes time for the first face-to-face meeting, it can be intimidating. Planning ahead and taking safety precautions can help make your experience more positive.

Tips for the first meeting:

Appearance - the first impression is important, but don’t exaggerate. Dress to express who you are, not who you want someone to think you are. Take pride in your appearance, showing you care, but don’t go overboard. Going underboard is just as bad. Having an unkempt appearance doesn’t give a good impression. You don’t have to wear designer clothes or the trendiest fashions, but at least have a clean and neat appearance.

Expectations - be realistic with your expectations. Don’t create a fantasy of who you are meeting, but realize they are human, just like you. You may find they lied about their appearance or personality or they may seem the same in person as they were online. Either way, look at this as an experience, not the definition of your dating life. Either you will click with this person or you won’t, but it’s not the end all.

Public meeting - always meet in a public place and drive yourself. Never allow your date to pick you up at your home or work. You can’t assume this person is safe. People can be good at their game online and in person be completely different. You have to put safety first. Make sure the place you meet is where other people are gathered. Never meet in an isolated place.

Pay your part - be prepared to pay your part of the bill for dining out or anything that involves money. Some expectations may occur when one person pays for the entire date. They may expect more dates or sex that very first night. Don’t obligate yourself.

Don’t drink - alcohol can affect your judgment and you may make decisions you otherwise wouldn’t have made if you weren’t under the influence. This is a time you need to be clear-headed.

Make your whereabouts known- make sure a friend or family member knows where you are going, who you are meeting and what time your date begins and ends. As rude as getting calls on your cell phone can be, while on a date, it wouldn’t hurt to have someone call just to make sure you are ok.

What to do - a first date should be where you can get to know each other. Going to the movies is common, but doesn’t allow an atmosphere to talk. A coffee shop may work well as it’s in public. A shared activity helps to break the ice. Anything that both of you like, will work, as long as safety is considered first.

The greeting - it’s intimidating to know how to greet someone for the first time. A kiss is too much and a handshake may be a little too formal. If in doubt, simply look your date in the eyes and say, “it’s nice to meet you”. If you’ve formed a close relationship online, a hug might be appropriate. This depends a lot on the dynamics preceding the date.

Other tips:

*  Don’t disclose personal information.
*  Be honest. Don’t lie to impress.
*  Don’t talk about ex’s
*  Communicate well so you have the opportunity to know more about this person and them about you.
*  Realize your date is probably just as nervous as you. Give yourself and them a chance.
*  Be yourself. Don’t write a script that isn’t you.
*  Listen to your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.

By the end of the date, you should be able to tell if there is a mutual interest. Either way, end the date with respect and on a positive note. Thank your date for the time they’ve shared with you. Don’t say you will call if you don’t plan to. If you’ve enjoyed their company, say so. Then let nature take its course.

Kathy wrote this on March 10th, 2008 and filed it under Internet Dating |