It pays to look before you leap when dating. We may like some aspects of a person, but not have enough in common, that would produce a healthy and lasting relationship. A lot of people get involved romantically without looking carefully at how well-suited the person is to them. A matter of romance before logic!

Some people get easily irritated at the other’s quirks or habits, but don’t think how much more irritating these things would be long-term. There may not even be anything wrong with the other person, but a matter of the two of you not having enough in common, nor being well-suited to each other.

In order to know how much you have in common with someone else, you have to first have a clear identity of “self”. Who are you? What do you like? What are your priorities in life? What are your goals? What are you beliefs? What are your needs and expectations in a relationship? If you know yourself well, it’s easier to see if others have the qualities you are seeking.

In order to figure out if the person you are dating has long-term potential, you have to be completely honest about what draws you to them and what does not fit with your criteria. They may have a wonderful appearance, but not offer the intellectual stimulation you need. Or they may love an active lifestyle while your idea of being active is pushing the buttons on the remote. These seemingly trivial issues can escalate into huge issues within a long-term relationship.

You may have to say goodbye to the person you are dating and date other people, if you are interested in finding a long-term partner. This would be better than “settling” and in retrospect regretting not paying attention to the negatives that were there.

How many times do we see the red flags, but tend to blind ourselves to the truth? Assess carefully before getting involved in a “relationship”.

Kathy wrote this on March 15th, 2008 and filed it under Dating, Single Life |