Is there a wrong time to start dating again after a break-up?

I believe the wrong time to start dating again is when the pain is fresh and the thoughts of your ex consumes you. During this time, you may be very vulnerable, possibly trying to mask the pain. It’s better to go through the stages of loss, even though it’s painful. You may also feel the need to be validated, by getting into another relationship too soon, which may set you up for a failure. This isn’t fair to you, nor the other person, if your feelings are still with the ex.

It also depends on how long your relationship was and how emotionally involved you were (and still are). The closer the bond, the more time you will need to recover. The recovery process is painful, but it also is a good opportunity to assess your life, your goals and your criteria for another partner, before getting involved again. Learn something from the relationship and also the break-up to help you in the future.

If dating again is being driven by a “need” - a need to mask the pain, a need to feel validated or desired, a need for revenge, give yourself time to adjust to the break-up. You’ll feel better about yourself and more prepared when someone new comes along.

It’s best not to enter a new relationship when the ghost of the past is still haunting.

Kathy wrote this on March 18th, 2008 and filed it under Brutal Breakups, Dating, Single Life |