We are drawn to people for various reasons, but sometimes signs are there that show they are a loser. Sometimes the signs are subtle and sometimes they are blatant. Just as there are various reasons why we are drawn to someone, there are as many as to why we turn a blind eye on the obvious. By turning a blind eye to the obvious, we hurt ourselves and in the end, are very disappointed that we didn’t break things off early on.

Signs you may be dating a loser:

How you feel in their presence - if you are on edge, afraid to be yourself or have developed adverse physical symptoms, the person you are dating may be toxic to your life and well-being. In the presence of the right person for us, we don’t feel on edge - we can be ourselves and we certainly don’t develop sudden physical symptoms.

Do you feel your relationship is one-sided? - do you feel invisible at times and your words fall upon deaf ears? A relationship is two-sided. Both parties are able to express themselves freely, be a support and encouragement to each other.

Did they attach themselves very soon? - people usually attach themselves very quickly because of a “need” or an “agenda”. A healthy relationship evolves slowly. It’s nice to hear you are so great that they couldn’t help but fall for you, but be cautious of someone who latches on too soon and too tight.

Do you feel the need to escape? - maybe you can’t verbally define what you are feeling, but often feel the need to escape when you are around your partner. Your gut instincts may be protecting you and telling you to RUN!

Do they try to isolate you? - a loser doesn’t like to share. They want you for their own and tries to isolate you from friends and family. Someone who is emotionally healthy and respects you, understands you have other people in your life. A loser is concerned about their needs, not yours.

Do they pass comments off as jokes? - losers often cut others down in attempt to make themselves look more powerful. Don’t accept the excuse of words just being a “joke” when they are condescending insults.

Destructive entertainment - is their idea of entertainment in the form of constant use of alcohol or drugs? A loser hasn’t learned how to enjoy life without these crutches. Their commitment to these crutches will come before their commitment to you.

The blame game - do they blame you for everything wrong that happens in their life? A loser doesn’t accept responsibility for their own behavior. To look at their own reflection in the mirror and clean up the messes they’ve made, would be too scary, so they have to find someone else to dump on.

All words, not much action - do they say a lot of pretty words, but rarely back up their words with action? An honorable, trustworthy and dependable person backs up their words. A loser’s words don’t hold much merit.

If you are dating someone who shows signs of being a loser, ask yourself why you are settling. Dating someone who brings negativity in your life can affect your well-being in every way. Be aware of the signs and when you recognize a loser, run fast!

Kathy wrote this on March 29th, 2008 and filed it under Dating, Single Life |