One of the hardest single life ordeals that anyone can go through is when they are in love with someone and that person doesn’t love them back or doesn’t think that it will work out anymore.

Just to talk to the heart for a moment, having this as a mark on the single life is wrenching. It makes it hard to date other men, or even talk to them about dating, you are always thinking about the times with the one that you still love and there is always a pull and a question between wanting to stay and work something out - or moving on so that you can find someone else to love.

Honestly, this phase of the break-up and of single life, is one of the most difficult. I have a friend that believes that staying in love with someone after they are gone is a security blanket, making you feel safe from getting your heart broken again. If you love someone that you know doesn’t love you anymore, you can’t get hurt anymore, but you still are allowing the feelings to be there.

A lot of others who I’ve talked to about this certain issue will go back and forth between how long is too long to hold on or when you should decide to let go. Everyone is different when it comes to the break-up process and getting over someone you’ve been with - if there is such a thing as getting over the ones that you truly love.

So, the only thing I can say, is that if you are still in love with someone else after they are gone - let yourself love them. But, not so much that it is not healthy. It does take a little bit of time, but there is no reason to push yourself back to them or towards another person because of it. Eventually, the pain fades - even if it doesn’t go away. And, for those hopefuls that want a happy ending - even if you do move on - he or she could come back. It could just be a phase that they need to go through.

Brooke Hart wrote this on April 15th, 2008 and filed it under Single Life |