Online dating sites can be a fun and adventurous experience. In order to make your experience pleasant, it’s very important to use safety measures. Your safety should come first before any desire to meet someone in person, until you feel a good level of trust.
Tips to keep you safe:
* Communicate only on the dating site until you feel comfortable with the other person. This allows you to get a feel for those you meet online, without giving out any personal information, you may regret having given, later on. Once you offer your number, you can’t take it back. If anything makes you feel uncomfortable, stop communication with that person or if the site has a block feature, block them.
* Don’t allow anyone to pressure you into giving them identifiable information. Don’t use a display ID with your last name in it or anything that could easily identify you.
* Be on guard at all times. Some people seem very charming and trustworthy, but have an agenda to gain your trust and then do harm. Be patient and get to know others slowly.
* If the person doesn’t have a photo on their profile, ask if they can send you one. Sometimes our gut instincts kick in by seeing a photo. See if the photo matches the description the person gave you of themselves. If it doesn’t, the photo may not be of them.
* Talk on the phone before meeting in person. But, a level of trust should be created through correspondence before taking it to the phone lines. Talking on the phone can give you a greater sense of the person and if it matches up with who they appeared to be online.
* Don’t feel pressured to meet anyone just because they ask. Choose those you feel the utmost comfort with. Your hand is on the steering wheel and you can steer in what direction suits you, not someone else.
* If someone starts saying they love you only after a few messages are exchanged, be cautious. They may be a good person who is very desperate or needy or they may be someone you need to stay away from. Their sweet words may be told to everyone they meet, not just you.
Red flags to watch for:
Inconsistencies – a person who is inconsistent in their correspondence probably has something to hide or is a liar. A truthful and trustworthy person is consistent.
Refuses to talk on the phone – a person who gives excuses for not talking on the phone may be married or in a relationship
Doesn’t answer questions - when you ask questions and the other person ignores them or tries to skirt them, they apparently have something to hide or doesn’t have a genuine interest enough to pay attention.
Doesn’t ask questions – a person who is genuinely interested in you, online or otherwise, wants to know more about you. They take interest. They ask questions about your interests, your day, etc., without getting too personal. They remember what you tell them about yourself and expand on that information.
Changes their tune – if a person tells you their age, what their job is, how many children they have, where they live, etc. and suddenly they say something different than they originally did, they obviously are fake or have something to hide. A person who isn’t lying, knows how old they are and any personal information about themselves. There isn’t a reasonable explanation for being 29 one day and 32 the next unless they are fabricating.
There’s a whole world of opportunities in the online dating experience, but safety should always come first!