Breakups are hard, especially when you didn’t see it coming. You thought everything was going perfect and that he or she was “the one”. Sure, maybe you’ve had a few hardships here and there (who doesn’t have them?) but you never expected those four words: “We need to talk,” followed by those horrible, horrible five words: “I can’t do this anymore.”

You may feel like you’re never going to get over your ex, but believe me, better things are ahead of you. There are a steps you have to take in order to get over that ex-special someone, but it can be done. Remember, it takes time, for time heals ALL wounds.

1. Mope Around & Cry
The first step in getting over someone or something is to let your true feelings show. Bottling them up isn’t going to help you get over them any sooner because they will still be there years and years from now. You’ve got to let them out. Go through your things and reminicse all the good and bad times you two had. Cry. Let your heart out. Accepting the fact that things are over is the best way to start the healing process.

You can mope around anywhere from a day to two weeks. Anything longer, and you’re feeling too sorry for yourself. Once you’ve let your emotions out, move on to number 2.

2. Throw the Memories Out
Once you’ve cried your self dry or screamed yourself to larengitis, start going through his/her things. Have a friend call your ex (don’t do it yourself, it will bring back those feelings that you just got rid of) and ask if they want their things or if you’re allowed to do with them as you please. If they want them back, have a friend drop them off to your ex.

Rearrange your furniture so that you can basically “start new”. You don’t want reminders and you sure don’t want their pictures lying around your house. Once you’re all cleaned out, move on to step number 3.

3. Go Have Fun
It’s about time to go out on the town with your friends. They’ve probably been missing you since you’ve been moping around and cleaning your apartment for the past few weeks. Buy yourself a hot outfit that you know you will look and feel good in and hit the clubs. Not into clubs? Have a night out at a friends house. It doesn’t matter what you decide to do as long as you’re not alone. You need a social environment right now to get your mind right.

If anyone brings up your ex, tell them that you’re not in the mood to talk about it right now. If they get upset, who cares? You’re going through a vigorous healing routine here! Once you’ve got all the fun you need…ah, you know what to do.

4. Find a Hobby
You’re thoughts are going to try to swing back to your ex every now and then, so it’s up to you to keep your mind stimulated enough to stay on track. Find a hobby. If you like animals, why not put up flyers and offer to walk people’s dogs each morning? You can make money too! Into computers? Make websites and help other people out (maybe write a blog like this one!) in situations that you’ve been through.

Getting over a relationship is NEVER easy. I’ve been there, done it, got over it, and moved on. Now I’m happily engaged to an amazing man and compared to him, my exes are about as disposable as the diapers I now change. Yes, I have a son now, too! My life couldn’t be more complete. And that’s not to say that you should go out and have a baby! I’m just saying that you’re life will improve and there are bigger and better things out there in this world.

Emily Lambert wrote this on April 26th, 2008 and filed it under Brutal Breakups |