In my time, I have run into a lot of men… all which are particularly thinking about one thing. So, in my cynicism and bitterness, I can only turn to sarcasm in order to remember some of the “best” places that men have tried to pick me up at. Please men… don’t try these… unless you are stupid.

1. A fish farm. Yep. I used to work at one. I would be in the water with fish for 8 hours a day. And, I would smell awful, be in grunge clothes and typically didn’t care. And believe it or not, I got hit on by men…CONSTANTLY. Tourists that were coming through, workers, anyone. Actually, one time, someone started singing to me while I was cleaning fish tanks. So, a rule… don’t try to hit on someone in a place that is disgusting.

2. Any other work area. Yep. Men do it all the time. And for some reason, they haven’t figured out that when you do this… it’s sexual harassment. (Bing! light bulb). Then, they don’t understand why you get mad at them and don’t want to talk to them. Unless it’s mutual… don’t try a cubicle area. It’s not romantic.

3. The grocery store. Now, wouldn’t this make it so that you could live happily ever after. Gee… we just bumped carts. Maybe we should go shopping together (wink). Yeah right.

4. A bank. See, these always surprise me when I think about them. A banker was hitting on me once when I was closing my account. On purpose. Wanting the phone number. And, I know that he wasn’t a gold digger… couldn’t have been if he was looking at my income statements. I took my lollipop and left.

5. From the other side of the counter. Yeah, that’s a good one. When you are ordering from McDonalds, shopping for lingerie or catching up on your cleaning items. That’s what I want to see is some guy on the other side being like… wow… I wonder how you eat your fries.

6. Oh, here’s a good one. Not a place, but a thing. When a cousin picked up his friends phone and looked up x-girlfriends to call and got my number. Gee, if it didn’t work out with him, maybe it will work out with me? …. Sure. Loser.

So, maybe you will have a magical moment in one of these places. But, to me, they all say the same thing. You guys are desperate and don’t know exactly how to approach women in the right way or at the right time. Even if you are in one of those places, wait until your not in order to actually make the move. Or, maybe I just don’t see a good romance when it comes along. “We could tell our kids that we met at McDonalds.”

Brooke Hart wrote this on May 27th, 2008 and filed it under Places to Meet Singles |