I don’t really know if I can call myself single. I’ve been separated from my ex-husband for 8 years now but I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years with a wonderful man. I am also a mother to a 12 year old girl. Before I met my boyfriend I was single for 6 years. I didn’t date or have any flings, after the marriage ended I felt like I lost myself. I’ve forgotten who I was as a person, yes I was a mother and a wife but I realized I had no substance anymore. So for six years I worked on discovering who I was again. What made me tick,what did I believe in? For the first 3 years I tried to work on the anger and resentment that was left in me after I got separated. On the 3rd year I forgave my ex but did not forget and it felt good because I wasn’t bitter or jaded. And during the next 3 years I worked on improving myself, I worked out, went on a diet and learned to love and respect myself. And before I met my boyfriend I had a clear idea of what kind of man I wanted. I was whole as a person and when you have that kind of mental,emotional and spiritual security you tend to make less mistakes in relationships. When you love and respect yourself, you know right away that the next man that you will let into your life will love and respect you as well. You know what you deserve and won’t accept anything less. So many women do stupid things just to keep a man in her life, it’s like they’re willing to degrade themselves in order to feel validated by a man or by everyone for that matter. You can’t tell people to love and respect you if you don’t love and respect yourself. Forcing myself to be alone was a great move on my part, I realized being alone wasn’t so bad. Of course you craved for companionship and love, and being alone for 6 years was no joke but I didn’t want to date around and put myself through more stress by dealing with different men and in the process making my life even more confusing. I was happy being single, I was by myself but not alone. I am lucky to have my daughter as a companion in my life during that 6 years. I was a complete person before I met my boyfriend. The line ” You complete me” is so wrong, you shouldn’t wait for someone to complete you. You can offer more to your partner and your relationship if you’re whole as a person. So it’s ok to go out meet people and enjoy the single life but while you’re waiting for that special someone, you can start working on yourself and your personal happiness. Don’t wait for someone to make you happy, wait for someone to make you happier.

kat gomez wrote this on July 2nd, 2008 and filed it under Single Life |