Are you becoming drained and depressed because of the break-up with your ex? Maybe your daily life feels miserable and you’re in a rut that you don’t know how to get out of.
It’s very normal to feel sad and depressed after a break-up. That goes with the territory and the time period can be different for each individual. But, if these feelings have been with you for an extended period of time, they may be an indication you need to make changes in your life.
Valuable lessons can be learned from all experiences – even those from a break-up. Sometimes in the worst struggles we find our greatest strength. Break-ups hurt. The reality is, continuously drowning in depression and reliving the relationship and the break-up wastes so many precious moments of your life. Life is short and it’s better to move on to a new chapter for your well-being.
If you broke up there are reasons for the break-up. It may not be your fault and the relationship may have even been good. But, for whatever reason the relationship ended and why would you want to be back in a relationship with the potential to end again? Wouldn’t it be better to look into the future and see yourself in a relationship that has the potential to last forever?
Embrace the lessons you learned while in the relationship and through the break-up. Learn more about yourself, your needs and wants and what type of relationship you want in the future.
Begin to think of yourself as a survivor and not a victim of circumstance. Place value on life and live it to the fullest!
I even remember the bad things about her…and still want her back (somedays…not always)!! wtf? I even remember that I wanted to dump her up to four times before she dumped me…and still I can´t believe it!! She had a LOT of issues..but I still loved her!!!
Thats the confusion most do, its not love but you got confortable having her around. You learned to deal with her but it wasn’t love really or else you wouldn’t want to dump her all the time. You wanted to dump her because something told you inside that you deserve better, that you shouldn’t be treated this way.
I wanted to dump my ex several times, infact I dumped her 4 times before and like a fool came back to her. This time is the longest time me and her haven’t spoken to one another after we broke up. This time I finally understood that she is not what I need and that me and her we just can’t be together or else it will be an emotional battle for the rest of our lives.
A relationship takes two people, its team work, if one is willing to do everything while the other doesn’t give a craps a** then it won’t work. That is why me, you, Sofia, Gonzo are here, because we cared, because we wanted to make things better. But the other link did not care, or they knew we are good people and just took advantage of it.
I still think sometimes that my ex will one day call me, but will it ever happen? I don’t know. Will I pick up the phone? NO!. Does it really matter? NO!. But I still think about it. I still have memories of the good days we had, but I learned to forgive and forget. I learned to control myself. I am no longer afraid of bumping into her one day (even though she moved out of the city for work not too long ago so the chances are slim).
My ex treated me like an “old rug” and yet I gave her all until the last day. I even kept talking to her on the phone after leaving her. But I guess we all have that break-off day. You see after I left her I wasn’t ready to leave her, I was still in denial. It took 2 months of phone conversations to finally click that she is selfish and just doesn’t want to make this work, blaming everything on me even though she was caught doing stuff behind my back and was really treating me badly (all my friends and family even her parents saw the same). But the break-off day came and since day we haven’t spoke.
Life goes on, there are TONS of people out there for everyone, its hard but if its not meant to be then why force it and be miserable for the rest of your life?
yes in deed…agree with everything you said there…we are fortunate for having Internet and things like this..I would be SO lost if we didn´t have it!
I´m from Europe, and there ALL my friends recently broke up with their couples and they are having a lot of fun right now, but I live in USA now (for the last 3 years) and here EVERYBODY has a relationship going on…its very difficult to hang in with all the couples and I´m always the only guy alone, haha…well, not always, but just for the last 4months..and it sucksss! I´ve always been good with being single, I usually liked being single, but I dunno why, this time I´m having more trouble…I think I´m (finally) growing up, haha!
Do you guys feel the same? Or are you happy singles now? haha
Its funny you mentioned it, I was the same as you, I did not have problems being alone. But with time I matured and wanted to settle already. I never expected to be single after a 6 yr relationship where I really did everything and tried so hard to make it work.
To make things worse all my best friends are either newly wed or just got engaged. I was the first one from all my friends who had a stable girlfriend (my ex). Now I am left alone while every single one of my friends is in a stable relationship. No one would have thought a guy like me will end up like this. My younger sister is getting married in a few months to make things more awful. However I refuse to see this in a bad way, not anymore, I refuse to see myself as a loser. I am very close to my mom and she told me to thank god for what happened because I could have been stuck with kids married to a mad woman. You got to believe in yourself and see that this is nothing, you are still young and it is never too late to start all over. Be motivated and don’t blame no one for this. You were not at fault nor your ex, the relationship was just not working.
Of course we want to have someone to care about and to love, someone who we can call and go out with, someone who will love us and care for us. So to answer your question, for now I do enjoy the single life, it is FAR better then the life I had with my ex. I was in constant depression, had headaches, stomach pains, I wasn’t myself anymore and people around me saw it more then I did. So being single is not how I would have seen myself at this point but to be honest with you this whole breakup made matured me and I learned how to give myself some self worth. I got more time for myself and I now know what I want in a woman. I also know what to look out for
William you’ll do fine, 3 months ago I was crying every single day, 3 months ago I closed myself in my room took some days off work, 3 months ago I was counting the days that I haven’t spoken to my ex. 3 months ago I did not know what to do anymore, I felt like I lost everything and living wasn’t worth anything. But now I am in a point of no return. There are days now that I ask myself was I really that stupid all these years, what was I thinking, I even have a little giggle about it cuz I acted like a fool. She treated me like an object, she had no feelings or respect towards me and I was crying about it and having doubts about this?!?!?! WTF! lol…
Maybe it was a little easier for me to recuperate because I have soooooo many people that were there for me (family and friends). I thank them all for this. My married and engaged friends took me out nevertheless and still call me to date sometimes to ask if I am doing ok. You see when you are a good person people cherish that. I always put others first, my ex just took advantage of it.
Just hang in there and don’t think about it too much, time will heal but you got to help time do so.
“I´ve always been good with being single, I usually liked being single, but I dunno why, this time I´m having more trouble…I think I´m (finally) growing up, haha!”
Funny, I’m in the same boat as you and No Name. For my entire life up to now, I absolutely had the confirmed bachelor mindset. I gave up a couple of really great women simply because I didn’t want to commit. I was always happier single.
My most recent ex was a good fit for that mentality to an extent – she gave me plenty of space, and she had her own life outside of the relationship. But that’s also what caused our downfall. Turns out her outwardly casual attitude was covering up increasing frustration with my lack of committment. It finally came to a head, which resulted in the breakup.
I think that was a bit of a wakeup call for me. I realized how much time I had wasted, and also that I was unintentionally being passive-aggressive and using her to an extent by not committing. I also think I had matured during the relationship, and realized I needed to let her go so I could find someone more compatible.
At this point in time, I’ve been on a few dates with a girl I met a couple of weeks ago. My feelings about her are 100x more intense than they were for my ex. It’s largely because my attitude towards relationships has changed dramatically. The subconscious urge to hold back on the committment just isn’t really there anymore.
Thanks guys!
Its obviously the “path of life”, hehe. At the beginning I wanted to forget my ex…almost done…now I have to respect myself as a newly single…not yet done, haha. I know I´ll be fine…it´s just this time in between that I´m afraid of. As I said, I´ve been here before, but before I didn´t care, I liked it..now I have to go back to liking it. As I said to all my friends when it happened, it was weird for me to go from a “I dont wana a girl in my life” to..”oh shit. I like this girl and I dont wanna be alone if I can be with her”. Then after a year I have to go back to my previous mentanlity, now that I had done that string effort of changing, that has taken me a LOT. Now that I made it (all my previous ex would be amazed if they saw me now…), I have to go back…thats what sucks! But well..I´m all for it…working on it, meeting more girls, etc… I´ve never been a girl “stalker”…I have usually waited until something happened, and It has always worked for me…now I´m even starting to think about talking to them before they do to me, haha!
I do have tons of friends (to whom I´ve talked non stop in the last months), and my family is now here in USA with me for 3 months..so it´s all good. I still miss my ex…cause, I mess her company..not really her bullshit, but I miss “having a girlfriend” and be with my family…for once in my life, I liked the idea, and I miss that. I guess it was not the right one, and there will come better ones to enjoy in the future. As Gonzo said…I will probably enjoy the next one 100 times more and be more intense…I just wish it came soon…but I never believed in it, things happen when you less expect them, and if you are “waiting” for them, they wont come…so I guess I´ll have to stay single for a while, and enjoy my own company, and friends, etc…before the next one comes.
At least you guys have been in a long lasting relationship..(6 years, for example). I can´t say that yet. My lonngest one was 2 years…I dunno if I can ever manage to do longer than that…ahah! That´s my main fear…being all my life from girl to girl, when what I really want is to find an awesome ONE to stay forever…haha…wow..I can´t believe im saying this
Thanks guys for your help! Stay tuned for the next downs or ups
haha!
Hope you guys and girl are doing fine!
So true, No Name: “Its not love but you were comfortable having her around.” I miss someone hugging me, rolling over and seeing someone next to me, and I miss the idea of him. He made me feel like a better person, and THAT’S what I miss; I miss feeling good about my life and myself. He distracted me from the real issues and problems I didn’t know I had (self-esteem and insecurities) until he broke it off. By doing so, I felt like my world crumbled because I was faced with dealing with reality. I have dealt with reality for about 3 to 4 months and I can tell you, – Reality bites!
I’m going to be 25 in September and he was my first relationship and the first person I ever liked/loved/cared about. I don’t even say I Love You to my parents but I opened myself up to say I Love You to him (I never heard it back from him, by the way). It took me 25 years to find one person – GREAT….now it’s going to take another 25 years to find another. I’ll be 50 and on my first marriage…
William, I’ve always been good being single. But I think after getting a taste of a real relationship, I’ve been spoiled and now I want another one! Doesn’t necessarily have to be a serious boyfriend, but at least companionship. That’s all I want. That’s all I need. In America people always feel like they have to have a partner (a least for women) and if you don’t then something’s wrong with you or they look at you like you have two heads. I hate that my friends go on group dinners and bring their boyfriend/girlfriend and I’m dateless or I make up a lie and say I can’t go. I wish I were a man because it’s more culturally acceptable to be unmarried and a bachelor. Being a bachelor is “cool.”
Being single shouldn’t automatically mean that we’re alone or lonely…Maybe we’re just strong enough to be on our own and we haven’t found anyone that can handle us. In my case, I’m not even looking for someone. I think men can just tell I’m hurt…you can see it on my face…I’m not as confident and sure of myself as I used to be.
I was looking for an old email on my gmail account earlier today. Went back all the way to 2004 emails and stumbled upon tons of emails between me and my ex. It was around the beginning of our relationship so they were mostly all positive vibes between me and her. Now I got a little messed again. The funny part is I am probably going to have these ups/downs days but she will most definitely never have them. You see she was a person that had a bad relationship with her parents and was a person who could easily relocate and forget people. She did not know what love is, she thought she knew and I thought I could make her fall in love. She could go on months not talking to her own parents. For her breaking up with me (even though I was her first serious boy friend and it last for so long) she still had no problems erasing me completely and moving on. So I noticed all of you were contacted some way or another by your ex’s, but me I am certain she will never do, so its up to me to kill this for good. She was too hard headed and competitive, for her calling me or trying to say she was bad is like losing a competition lol.
Also, two days ago I had a weird dream. I was asleep and woke up and she was lying in bed with me trying to kiss me but I was trying to hold back. She was forcing it on me and I couldn’t get out of it. I usually don’t remember what I dream about and I haven’t dreamed about her for a while now. Very weird…
So as you can see even I have my days and this week was a little depressive for me. The funny part is I met very nice girls so I shouldn’t’ be depressed but here I am trying to fight the past and move on.
I guess after 6 yrs it has been only 3 months thus not enough, it is still fresh in my mind and heart and I was hurt by it ALOT and I’ve lost trust in people. As you can tell I am trying to stay positive and help myself and you guys as I go. It ain’t easy but there is no other outcome for this.
No Name, Based on what I’ve read, you seem to have a great head on your shoulder and seem optimistic and strong – Therefore, I know you’ll get through this. I still have the first email he sent telling me that he really enjoyed his weekend with me. All of the emails were incredibly flirty, so it pains me to think about how I’ll never hear him speak that way to me. But at the same time, I know I won’t delete them any time soon – I still want to hang onto the past.
I am the queen of weird, symbolic dreams like yours!! I used to keep a notebook next to my bed and record my dreams. When my grandfather died, I had terrible nightmares; When I get into the arguments with my parents or am angry, I have violent dreams. Immediately after breaking up, I had dreams of pure bliss and happiness – I dreamt we were laying in bed, he had his arms around me and everything was back to normal. Nowadays, I have been dreaming not-so-happy thoughts about my ex; For example, yesterday I dreamt that he was getting married to his new girl. I woke up in a panic because it felt so real.
I think about him during the day, evening and night – AND in my sleep!! Breaking up is truly emotionally and psychologically exhausting. It’s disturbing when my ex shows up in my dreams. But looking at it through a symbolic lens can help ease your mind and find meaning in the dream. I found this paragraph on the internet:
“You will continue to dream about your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend until you “let go” of them on a very important level, or until you learned your lessons from that relationship. Either way, dreaming about your ex-romance does not predict future involvement. It may be wish-fulfillment, reliving memories, or working out old issues. Dreams are very rarely prophetic.”
The fact that in your dream, you were trying to pull away from her is a positive sign, but something is pulling you back and not letting you let go.
By the way, when I was surfing the internet, I found an advice columnist that said: “It is so much easier to let go of someone when it is clear he or she doesn’t care about you.” I want to respond to her and say that’s NOT TRUE. As evident with some of us here, our ex’s feel off the face of the Earth post-break up and, in my case, made it appear like they didn’t care about me. I still feel that if only I were more ‘perfect’, then my ex wouldn’t have ever fallen into the arms of someone else. “IF” this “IF THAT”…
Yeah…this is my second major breakup in my life, and I said that too the first time: “I´ve lost trust in people”…and even 4 years later, I do it again…I say to myseld..you have to trust SOME people…and then it goes to hell! Of course now I think the same, I don´t trust ANYBODY! BUt I guess it´s a normal reaction to pain. Your body doesn´t like it and the way to let you know is feeling rejection towards confidence. Just play with a cat and mess with him..you´ll see how he will later take some time in handling you the same way
This is gonna be a long process guys…some days will be amazing, and some will be horrible. Iñm myself in a bad one today…rollercoaster, yay! I woke up thinking about my ex and about one thing that I really fucked up that made it all worse…I was regretting things I did in the past. Why? I can´t even change it! Yes, I can learn from it…but I learned the lesson already! SOmetimes our body (at least mine does) likes selfinflicted torture…There is no turning back in my story with this girl (although I still think about her a lot), and yet I am here wondering if I said sorry AGAIN maybe she would forgive me, ha! This is how we react when we are in a low or bad mood. We can´t avoid it I think…but we can avoid thinking and torturing ourselves. How? I don´t know..but at least thats a thought
No Name, Gmail is Awesome for a lot of things…but again, for exes…it sucks! haha! Everytime I type in a word when I´m searching for something…guess what pops up? Yes…nice emails from my ex! And what do I do? Read them! Why not? haha! And then it´s like..hey…wait…I remember this! If I had said YES to this in stead of NO I woul be with her still! haha
Avoidance is the key! 
It is certainly gonna take more than 3 months, my man! 6 years is a hell of a long relationship! But take it easy! It will come, sooner or later!
Sofia!!!! You took 25 years to find a good candidate..but it wasn´t THE one. You took 25 years, but in that time you were also growing as a person, going to school (I guess
) and learning how to love. Now you know! The sooner you get rid of that face that says “I´ve been hurt”, and the sooner you forget about how life sucks, you will be there running away from all the guys that wanna date you 
You see it all the time! Who is more succesful? The guy/girl that has 5 masters and PHDs and lives a quiet existence..or the one that “shows” how happy he/she is and how cool it is to be around him/her? When it comes to social skills, the second one is more succesful. Maybe that´s not what you want ( I dont want that) but if you wanna go out dating, thats the way to go! Show everybody how amazing you are! If, on the other hand you just wanna have fun, and if somebody pops up on your life (the way I like to work) you try it…then just chill out and try be a happy single, and everything will come..and it wont take 25 years! for sure!! Just work on picking up the pieces, regrouping with yourself, and sooner than you think you will be happy again chosing the guy YOU want, and that will work good with you. Thats a FACT.
I´m in the same boat. I have been spoiled too. I have been in a very good relationship (until the end) and now I´m alone again…I wanna have that company again! I see couple all the time and I envy them (not all, just a few..some couples are always fighting.that sucks!), and I want to have the same!
You may be right about the fact that single guys are “cooler”…but its also easier for a girl to get dates, my friend
If I was a single girl…I would just go out a night and get a few proposals that same night. When I go out…I have to be the one working on that (paasss on that!), or maybe if Im lucky,some girl or girls will talk to me. But maybe not! 
So it kinda sucks that men have to be the “hunters” and girls have to be there waiting. I try to avoid that and do the opposite…I dont like rules, and those rules suck! Yeah, its the way it works, but I have never “talked” to girls with a purpose of dating them, and I haven´t had problems in getting them, so I guess its not too bad. I wish I was more succesful, of course, and maybe “talking” to girls would help a lot, but thats just not the way I like it. So, Sofia…dry your tears…go out to a bar, and sit (even if you are alone!) for a while. You will probably have a couple of creeps talking to you soon (depends on the bar) but I´m sure after some time you will be doing pretty good with better guys for you 
Or do the coffee shop thing! Hell! I go sometimes to one right by my house, and I see all these girls sitting alone reading a book, and all the guys “hunt” them right there! I wish I could do that! haha!
And yes…being single means that you dont need nobody else to live your life with
That means you are stronger, and COOLER 
So let´s all start (I´m the first one) thinking this way 
Recover your confidence…be happy on your own, and it will all come soon.
I guess you are right Sofia, once I am completely over then I won’t be thinking hence dreaming about her anymore. I ended up deleting every email there was. I don’t want to have any trace of her in my life. She just ruined me to so that I don’t see myself ever forgiving her. I actually promised myself two things in life, never to smoke and never to have her part of my life. Yes I get these days where I go into the denial stage wanting her back but I keep making sure to remind myself what really happened and why I left her.
For some reason I always thought it is much easier for girls to move on but I guess I am wrong. I thought girls just have to put something sexy and go out, guys will just jump on them and there you go, another boy friend in the making. Guys have to hunt, I am in no position to hunt right now even though I’ve doing so in the past month. I just don’t feel it, I don’t know how to put it in words but even though I meet girls who are interested and want to move forward, I just don’t…I am afraid yet I want it. Like I am afraid it will end the same or I’ll end up losing time. I tend to be very picky as well now. Sometimes I analyze things like crazy which ruins everything. I guess its the lack of trust that creates all this.
But like William said I need lots more time then just 3 months for this to fully be out of my system. I need to get on thinking in a mono way, me and no one else. Doesn’t mean we can’t meet other people, just be less attached which I tend to do most of the time lol.
So the holiday was a little rough for me. I knew my old group of friends was meeting up on the 4th to hang out and watch some fireworks. Obviously I couldn’t go, because my ex and her new BF were an integral part of it. I’m still coming to grips with the fact that that part of my life has essentially been deleted, and the only thing that’s changed for them is that I’ve been replaced by someone else. It’s true that those who were truly my friends are still friendly with me. But that makes it even worse when I can’t participate in functions like this.
No Name, your comment about your ex being able to immediately move on hit home. My ex had the same parental issues. I suspect that although she has consciously moved on to a new guy, there’s still a sliver of me that she’ll add to her collection of baggage she carries around with her.
As for me, I spent most of the extended weekend with the new girl I’ve been seeing. My feelings for her don’t seem to be as intense as they were. I suspect I just really wanted to be happy about a new relationship, rather than having strong feelings for her specifically. We talked a bit, and she asked me about my ex. I told her it’s been about 3 months since we broke up. She immediately commented that it hasn’t been much time. It really pisses me off that my issues are having an effect on this – I really want to move on. We agreed to relax a bit and just see where it goes.
And again I feel like a f-ing loser. I guess I’m not yet done with the ups and downs.
Well…I haven’t cried all week over my ex. I am still hurting myself by looking at FB profiles, etc. I just looked and his status said he was out of town with *insert the new girls name.* I am very close to crying, but I don’t think I have any tears left. This is the 2nd trip time they’ve been on in a week and a half. I keep going in circles, you guys, and I can’t stop. I think I am over “him” but I have not moved past how I was so easily replaceable. It’s insulting that he always used to tell me he was busy with work (he’s in the entertainment industry) and couldn’t make plans or spend an entire day because he had to edit a video or had a shoot….But suddenly, with this girl, he can find time to spend weekends with her. OKay, I just started crying….I guess I still had tears left. He probably just didn’t have a strong enough desire to do anything with me….Why not? What was soooo wrong with me? I hate that I have still not moved past questioning myself and questioning what was so atrocious about me.
We’re all in the same boat where it appears our ex moved on so quickly….as if we didn’t exist, or as if our feelings didn’t matter. WHY WHY WHY???? Why don’t we matter? Why do we care so much? Why does it hurt so much? Why won’t these feelings go away?
Yesterday I was in a good mood. I THOUGHT I was in the last phase of breaking up – being grateful for the time that we had together. When my ex met me, I was a mess. I was dancing on tables, I was staying out til 8am and hanging out with the wrong crowd. Now, 3 years later, I don’t even stay out past midnight, I’d rather have good conversation, and I grew up. Yesterday I was thinking that I should be thankful that I ever met him, because if it weren’t for him, I might not have matured.
I’m heartbroken that we all continue to be in the same boat…Sometimes I don’t want to feel like this anymore and put myself out of my misery. Sometimes I just want to give up on life and being made to feel like a disappointment.
You men are really confusing. I caved in and texted my ex asking for closure. I told him I needed it so I may move forward…. He said that we were getting “too serious” and “overall we were headed down a mire serious path and I (he) was not good at being there.” When I confronted him as to why he’s fallen into the arms of someone else, he said “In my situation after you, there is nothing more wanted from me. She does not expect more. But this doesn’t mean I don’t like you anymore.” I sent him 7 or 8 texts after that, but he hasn’t replied. I guess that’s it….
It seems like everyone here wanted more out of their relationship, but I happened to find the one guy with commitment-phobia. I hope that after him telling me we were “too serious” (whether it was an excuse or not), will help me work on myself and my own life. We need to stop wasting tears on these people that aren’t even thinking about us.
Here is something I found online today: “Top 10 Ways to Recover from a Break-Up: Seek professional therapy. There is no shame in seeking outside help. If you can’t afford therapy, seek out a support from a relationship recovery message board.” This is exactly what we are all trying to do…at least we are all trying to take steps forward towards the healing process. GONZO, I can’t speak from experience, but it will take a while to be able to open up to someone else. This new girl…Yeah, she might not be “the one” but she’s one step closer in the right direction. Heck, look on the brightside: You’re getting out there and meeting people.
How often do you still speak to your ex Sofia? I mean I haven’t spoken to my ex ever since I told her over the phone (since she moved out of the city) that it won’t work out between me and her. After having a convo with her and getting no result out of it I told her that I don’t want to talk to her ever again. Since then (aroung 3 months ago) I haven’t heard from her or tried contacting her. She deleted all the mutual friends we had on FB and I did the same. I also deleted and threw out everything that reminded me of her. Like photos, sentimental values, emails. Of course I can’t delete everything and I will probably have her memories embeded in me for ever but I want to be cured already from my awful past so that I can start a fresh new beginning.
What frustrates me the most is not that I lost her but how she just erased me and what she did to me after being with me for such a long time. That is what bothers me. This last few days were horrible, I haven’t had much sleep, I’ve gotten a little depressed again. My buddies took me out this past weekend, I tried to be cool but things in my mind kept me neutral and puzzled most of the time.
I wouldn’t have contacted my ex like you did Sofia. You have to be strong and show that you are moving on even though you didn’t. Because if you keep contacting him then it will just make his ego stronger. He’ll be playing with your head, just like he did in his replies to you and the way he is ignoring you whenever he pleases. Its not “men are really confusing” its your ex playing the game you set on the table for him
I wish sometimes I’ve had never met my ex. But then again, because of this I matured and I’ve learned plenty. Me and her had lots of good times so I shouldn’t have any regrets, its just I never thought I would be here in this position weak like this while she is having a blast as if nothing happened.
I met several nice girls myself and just like you Gonzo they saw right threw me saying “you aren’t ready yet” even though I lied and said I broke up 8 months ago (but I really broke up a little less then 3 months ago). And I also tend these days to stop myself, like I don’t try hard and I just go with the flow. I guess I am not ready like most people tell me, its just that I want to get over it asap and start all over. I’ve lost way too much time on my ex with no result and it kills me inside.
I just want to erase her to the point where I say”who? what ex? never met her before…” Then I guess I’ll be good to go and ready for a fresh new start
I dont think forgetting a person is possible:
http://www.ehow.com/how_2262617_forget-an-ex.html
She will always be there, the same eway you will ALWAYS be in her brain..for good of for bad. In stead of forgetting…we all have to accept what happened…once we really accept it, we won´t have problems seeing them again. I brokeup with the “love of my life” (the first one, hehe) and now, after 4 years..I am prepared to see her again…see her with her new boyfriend…whatever! I dont care anymore! I´m OVER it! So if I could do it once, I can do it now again..and so will you guys! It takes time (4 times in my case…) but we are all different! Maybe this second time for me is just some months…who knows! All I know is that I have to work day by day on fundig a new life without her. Not what I want, but she took the decision for me, so I can´t do anything about that! ALl I can do is hope she is doing good…and that someday soon she regrets what she did, which Im pretty sure she will
ANyhow…I dont really care anymore if that happens! Cause whenever that happens, I´ll be over her 
Actually..it´s her birthday in 3 weeks…I ALWAYS say happy birthday (a text message) to ALL my exes. But in this case…I may not do it. I dont think it will cause any harm, but I like to be a decent person, and saying happy birthday to an ex is not a bog deal I think. What would you guys do?
PS. I hate mondays! In my “road to recovery”, the worse day is always a monday! Dunno why! Maybe cause I always hated them, and now with the breakup…the morning that I always get to remember her, is a monday! Damn! After all these months I´m now nderstanding more the way my head works…it´s all in your brain, the fact that it hurts but we keep on thinking about them…we dont really need it. Thats what we have got to change!
United we stand! :p
Sofia – Your ex really sounds like he just wasn’t ready to settle down. Speaking from experience, he would absolutely not have settled down with ANYONE as long as he had that mentality. As a few posts above suggest, a man eventually matures and develops a more welcoming attitude towards serious relationships. It takes some of us quite a while.
Your ex says the new person he’s seeing isn’t looking for something serious – IMO he’s either kidding himself or that situation isn’t going to last long. I have literally never met a woman who stays happy with a “casual” relationship for any substantial length of time.
Since you mentioned professional therapy, I actually went to a therapist about 4-5 times when I broke up with my longest-term GF 6 years ago. One useful fact I took away from that is that our minds handle breakups similarly to how we handle the death of someone close to us. We literally mourn the loss. The problem is the closure is not as concrete, because our ex is still out there. So the goal is to get to the point where you accept the loss and consider the relationship a memory rather than part of your present life. Unfortunately, there’s no trick to speeding up this process.
well, now it´s my turn!
I´m down again! I just joined the club! I just found out that my ex is already dating another guy!! Yay! I had suspicion of this…but never heard back from friends so I figured it was just a silly thing, normal date or whatever…now I just saw a family reunion, and there she is, with her new guy! I was the first guy she took to her family! Now, just 3 or 4 months of being with this guy (i dont know how long..just assuming) she´s bringing him there! That was quick! Now we are all in the same page! All of our exes have moved super quickly, and are happily living a new romance! ANd here I am…totally screwed! Felling horrible in my room! And funny thing…today those pics got posted..and some hours later, she answered me that email I sent her last week (saying that I didnt feel like seeing her). Nice coincidence… She basically gave me an address to send her the checks I have to give her, and say that she doesn´t want to talk about our relationship anymore…that we already talked a lot about it (lie!). I guess those emails she was talking about were the ones that kinda gave me some closure, without addressing the real problems…whatever! I of course just answered the email in not a very friendly way…(I had to do it!) telling her how could I be so stupid to think that she would be mourning our relationship and in stead she was already dating a guy…we never talked about the guy although I always knew there was one…but I guess I didnt want to believe it. So yeah..I just opened pandora´s box…I kept it until here all in a very peaceful way…now I guess there´s no turning back. That person that was once the love of my life, is now a person that doesn´t exist. Like Sofia said…this just makes me never want to be with anybody again! But I know I will pass this phase. Still sucks, though.
Well, I guess this was the peak then. It can´t go worse than this…I´ll just have to get better soon. I was actually doing very good lately. Now I´m destroyed..of course, but well…I´ll go back to working on myself and trying to forget her and see her as the past.
Hope you guys are doing fine.
That is why I don’t bother checking with her friends or anything that has to do with her. I see it this way: If she is alone then she probably sleeps around with guys, If she is already dating someone then she is probably sleeping with that guy. In my case there is a strong chance that my ex cheated on me while being with me so either way she slept with some guy lol. So I don’t really care at this point what the f*ck she does, all I know is in the long run whatever guy she is with if he is sane he will quickly realises she is a psycho. If he ain’t sane then he is in it for the sex. Her friends told me when I broke up with her that she will probably never find a good guy like me that could endure her for so long. Oh well, like I said its her loss and my gain.
I haven’t slept in days now, and its not due to my ex but because I am lost a little about what I want and how to go about it. I know my relationship is over and that I will never want to talk or see my ex ever again. Its something I promissed myself because of what she did to me, for my self esteem and pride. She in a way made fun of me and I should show her that she ain’t worth existing in my current life.
People tell me it will take around a year to get back on track since my relationship lasted pretty long. I just hope to find someone already, that special one who will not only allow me to forget my ex for good (in the sense of moving forward of course since we can’t really forget people) but will show me what a real working relationship is all about.
Sometimes I question myself if she will one day mature and realise what she had. If she will try to contact me and how will I react. I just hope it either never happens or that it won’t bother me if she does. I can’t understand how people can just go on erasing such a huge chuck of time, look I can’t and I am the one who broke it off
It’s interesting that at least 3 of us were dealing OK with our breakups until we found out our exes were dating someone else. Are we jealous that they were able to move on so quickly? Are we angry that they apparently didn’t have enough respect for the relationship to wait a bit? Maybe a little of both… and who knows why else.
both, for sure!
ANd the fact that I thought she would be mourning in stead of flirting…that´s a nice stab right to the heart…I guess that´s my fault… 
Anyway…as for now..COMPLETELY closed. Erased phone numbers, sent her her checks, no more contact EVER again. Now she lost me forever, her loss
Now…recover, and redo my life..like we all should do. At least some of us are dating already (not me, I can´t)…hopefully it´ll get better soon. First dates suck, but they´ll get better. I´ll just stay in pause, and just have fun without caring about the opposite sex for a while…I wish my ex would have done the same. She wasn´t that busy as she said after all…or just busy with other guys…hehe…
What you don’t know doesn’t hurt. You did this to yourself William, you shouldn’t have checked what she was doing. I keep my nose away from her because I know I would most probably get hurt if I check.
I got depressed these past week and still not doing so good this week. However I am way better then when I just started writing on this blog
I booked a trip (leaving in a couple of weeks) out of the country should get my mind out of things. I am hoping this trip will be a major turn around to a new fresh start.
I have met girls here and there, but it never goes anywhere…like I told you a while back on here, we should maybe stay single and take advantage of the freedom. Thinking about what our ex is doing or trying to get info from various places is just adding more wood into the fire. You should back off and think about what you should be doing and let the fire extinguish. I have sources that will easily show me what she is doing in great details but I restrain myself because its just not worth the pain and suffering. It will obviously not make me happier so why do it…
The relationship was not meant to be. Have no regrets has it was an experience where you learned plenty and gain lots. Do not blame yourself, do not blame her, you were just not compatible enough to sustain a stable connection. You are now in an intersection, standing on a road that ended and is now splitting into two different paths. One is the road to a new beginning where the landscape is yet to be discovered, the other is a continuation of what you’ve just went through, ruff and very hard to go through. So chose wisely and move on to the right path
Hey–
Well it is week 3 of my break-up. I found out my bf was doing stuff behind my back that was not right. I ended the relationship. It just makes me mad that I gave all I had to this relationship and he does wrong and I am left to “pick up the pieces”
I have never loved someone the way I loved him and I have never hurt like this before. I wish I was so mad at him that I could forget him but I can not. I have dreams about him. I saw a picture of him on Facebook at a gathering the other day and I just broke down crying. I miss him and even though we went out 7 months it is just so hard.
This blog is helpful. I just want to get better. I do stuff most nights with friends, etc but it is just hard. I feel lost.
I dreed seeing him that first time…….Oh well……We will all get through this!! But damn this is no fun at all.
It is no fun at all..in deed, but we have to go through it to get better.
At the end of the day it doesn´t matter who dumps who. The one that puts more emotional effort in the relationship will probably be the one that´s left to pick up the pieces…it´s very sad.
If he was cheating on you…I think there is no doubt that you are totally better off without him. There are a LOT of decent guys that would never do that, so just forget about him, heal, and somebody special will appear again in some time. In the meantime, just enjoy your new single life, go out, do the things you couldn´t do when you were with him, and vent all you need in the process. It´s the only way to get through with it.
I strongly recommend you this website:
http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/
It REALLY helped me with my healing.
I just received a mail from my ex…confirming me she is dating someone else…and…I´m not even sad! I don´t even care! So..I gues there must be some progress here.
Take it easy and heal
Hope you guys are doing fine! (I guess when people don´t write here it´s because they are doing fine, so great! 
).
Hi NC,
I know how it feels, I went through the exact same thing you are going through but my relationship was 6 yrs long. I found out my ex was doing stuff behind my back and I recently had an eye opener. She might have been doing stuff behind my back for a lot longer then I thought. Anyhow it is now 3 months since I spoke to her.
I have my ups and downs, I am most certain you’ll have them as well. I met several girls, but because I tend to slip my ex into the convo and since I don’t tend to do any moves, the date ends up not going anywhere. I ain’t ready thats all…time will show me the way.
You have to stop thinking about it and concentrate on yourself. Go out, meet new people, find new hobbies, just forget the relationship it will never workout. A friend of mine told me “a broken vase will always be a broken vase no matter how many times you fix it”.
I broke up 4 times with my ex and this one is certainly the final one. I will never forgive her its a promise I made myself. I got no enemies in this world and most find me to be a nice guy, so she is my very first enemy
I was afraid of loneliness of not being good enough, my self esteem got to the lowest point possible. I did not believe in time at first, but with time passing I felt better and better. Don’t get me wrong I do have days of depression like the past week and still today a little. I find it happens when I don’t go out and stay home. I start feeling alone and unwanted.
NC like I told many and many told me, you will most probably not listen to no one right now, it is the in-denial stage. The only person who can help you is YOU! We here can only guide you based on our own experience.
Believe in yourself, it ain’t the end of the world but just the beginning to many great opportunities. He loss your gain, stay strong and let time show you the way.
A nice remix of a song which shows how I feel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbbSsnFOAa8
Thanks everyone. Great tips.
Sometimes a set-back is a set-up for something better!!
Gonzo said: “It’s interesting that at least 3 of us were dealing OK with our breakups until we found out our exes were dating someone else. Are we jealous that they were able to move on so quickly?”
Hi, all. I had been doing well for the past 2 weeks. However, today I found out that its 100% true that my ex has moved on and has a girlfriend. It was confirmed via text by him today. I feel deceived….Just 3 weeks ago my ex told me that his new girl “didn’t expect much from him” and that’s why he likes it. What a f^kin liar! They are now officially boyfriend and girlfriend.
I’m constantly complaining about the same things. When is this going to end? It doesn’t feel like it will. Everyday, I let my ex control my thoughts and control my life. Going out with my friends isn’t helping — I come home and I’m alone. Hanging out with my family isn’t helping — My cousins are getting engaged, left and right. When is my life going to go back to normal? I know I have a lot to live for, and I have a lot of living left to do….but sometimes I kind of just want to….Give up.
I think we can all agree…..I WANT MY LIFE BACK TO NORMAL. I’m taking a vacation to Las Vegas this weekend. I really hope that the 110 degree weather and relaxed atmosphere will help me feel better.
Gonzo…LOVE the “Apologize” remix. This is how I feel, too: “You said these words and you did these things
And you wrapped me around like a string
And you pulled me along and you led me on
Until all I got left is the words to a song”
Oops…I wish I could edit my post..It wasn’t Gonzo that posted the YouTube link, it was No Name…Thanks for posting it. I’ve been listening to it on repeat
I went this weekend to Vegas…I feel a lot better now
It was hot as hell..BUT the casinos have very cool AC, so just go to pool partys and out in the night time. Wear your best smile and you´ll get all the guys you want..if thats what you want. If not…just enjoy a cool show (Zumanity was awesome), get on a ride at the NY, or stay all day getting a tan in the pool. It´s tooootally worth the trip and the heat! 
I was cleaning up my harddrive to install a very big software, and..I found this video of my ex when she was adorable. You know what? I didnt even care
She is not like that anymore with me, so…I hope nis new BF enjoys the time before she starts going crazy and being a bitch..it will be soon, I know, haha!
Days are getting better..I care less every day…since I found out she is with other guy..so I guess that´s the turning point I was waiting. She can go fu** herself now
I have yet to actually see my bf since the break-up. Any tips on handling that first meeting where u see each other at a bar or maybe even bump into each other at Wal-Mart. I am not looking forward to that first meeting. He is very emtionless on the outside so I am sure he will give me a big smile and say how great life is…..I just need to be prepared for that.
NC, I saw my ex and his new girl at a nightclub a month ago – my heart dropped and I left. He didn’t see me. If you see him, I would recommend not approaching him because it would set you backward. My ex is also very emotionless on the outside and would have acted very cool and relaxed in person – It would have hurt me more to see how composed he can act, but how I am in shambles and falling apart. But please don’t be like me and shun social situations in fear of seeing him; I’ve been invited to pool parties, bars, clubs but I get “feelings” that my ex would be there and I decline the invites. I am usually right, because I would later find out he was there with his new girl. It’s a vicious cycle because how am I supposed to get out there and explore, meet new people and feel good, when I live in this city in fear of seeing him when I turn the corner or grab a drink? I hope you don’t let your ex control your life, like I have.
Anyway I talked to my ex on the phone yesterday and he said he promised to call me this morning. Did he? Nope. I fell for it again. I feel like this song, which I’m sure someone out there can relate to….
“I should have never listened to a word you said
But I was always giving in to promises
I never should have gone for
I should never long for you no matter how hard it gets
And I want this to be over
I so want this to be through
In the end somehow it always comes back to you
….
But there was something ’bout you that I couldn’t resist
Can’t put my finger on it but whatever it is
I never should have stood for it
I know you’re no good for me
And that’s the way it is
….
I tell myself
Get over you
It’s over right
Right thing to do
And just when I thought I was done
You pull me in for another run
I can’t take this
I won’t take this
I can’t do this
I Won’t do it
Even if I know in the end somehow it always comes back to you”
SOFIA thanks for sharing. Yeah we can not let our ex’s control our lives….they have done enough damage.
Well I have read through most of the posts that you guys have posted through and while I have recovered a little quicker than some of them I will still tell you it is an everyday process. I’ll share some of my quick tips:
Any time you have a memory of your Significant other, Pack it away. In your mind pretend that your put it in a box, tape the top and set it in a room. You can open the box agian, after all it is just tape? But this allows you to open it when you are ready.
Any time you can go out, do it. No matter what, No matter where. You never know when Mr. Right or Mrs Right will walk into your life.
No contact, sorry. I know we all want to be “friends” with the ex, but honestly in this state of mind, ask yourself is that possible? I’ve had no contact with an ex for over and month and a half, and being her friend is still not on my to do list.
I just wanted to let everyone know that you are worth everything in this world. Nothing has changed since you broke up with your ex, you are the same person.
Hope this helps, Ill check back.
I do the box thing you said “YesNoMaybeSo”, but…sometimes the lid opens alone, and lets a lot of memories get out
I´m really getting a lot better..it just goes to some days where I think…why the hell did that happen (breakup)? And then I go again through the process and end up remembering there was a reason…so best thing is just forget about it, since there is nothing we can do now. Enjoy single life! 
That´s what I´m doing!! 
I hope everyone is doing well. There haven’t been very many posts or people venting, so this must mean everyone is moving forward.
I just came back from a few days in Las Vegas – I didn’t think of my ex and his new girl at ALL. Usually, he would be in my dreams and/or the first thing I thought of in the morning; Nope, not anymore. I didn’t do anything ‘crazy’ in Las Vegas, it was simply a much-needed, relaxing break from my reality. While I don’t think I am ready to meet anyone else romantically, for the first time I realize that falling in love (or even lust!) will happen again. I was afraid that once I return home, that I might retreat to my old habits or feel an urge to check his or her’s facebook; Nope, not anymore. I don’t want to look at it, don’t want to find out what he’s doing, and don’t want to send him angry/bitter texts. I hope these feelings will continue!
I recommend all that are broken-hearted to take a vacation – even if it’s just a few hours away by car. Get away from your bedroom, the computer, the phone and the old memories of your ex’s and give yourself a break!
Yessss! I´m seeing progress here Sofia!
Congrats!!! Keep up the good work! In deed Vegas is awesome, and taking a trip always helps…
I still check this site every other day..I´m glad we are all doing better
Still somedays are weird, but at least they are not bad 
My ex wrote me today and I didnt even bother…answer, or change my plans for today.
NEw life, in deed for all
Sofia I am glad Vegas was great “medicine” for you. It’s funny you say you did dream of your ex and he was the first thought you had. I am there but the days of him being my first thought are finally not occurring every day. So maybe i am making some progress as well.
I am going to Florida for Labor Day but I may need a get-away before that :^)
A woman I dated for three months just broke up with me via text messaging. It is worse than a divorce. Text messages are great when you are in love and everything is cool but they land like artillery in a breakup. I made all the mistakes. Texted her (without answer) for days. Apologized for doing nothing wrong. (She ends her relationships that way.) Makes me feel pathetic. It was my first attempt at a relationship after my divorce in 2005. I stepped back and studied it. She was emotionally abusive and I was codependent on her with me being on the weak side. She checked off on all the traits of an emotional abuser with constant threats to end the relationship, inablity to accept compliments, blowing my defects out of proportion to her own gaping flaws. I was expected to know her mood. I was always walking on eggshells. I would react normally to something she did and she would admonish me for my feelings. She would see her exboyfriends and text me she was doing it (just as friends of course, RIGHT). Like a codependent I would accept her excuses as to why she needed to see them. She had a whole social network to support her and I was and am alone. She made me part of her life and I got to know her friends and family and suddenly I am alone and isolated. I really feel like I am damaged emotionally. The worst is on weekends. Yesterday I actually woke up crying! It frightened me. I think she was only using me to get back at her ex-boyfriend who had cheated on her. I was so happy being with her though. She will answer texts like once a day to keep me going I think. It helps me to write this. I am going to TRY not to text her anymore. I hope that is the answer. This is just so emotionally draining. I am mentally and physically exhausted.
Oh Exhausted. I am truly sorry.
You must have No Contact. This is a huge scab…and everytime you contact her you pick the scab.
There were many times I would wake up crying. Even today (1.5 month later) I am a little sad.
The weekends are hard as you adapt to a new routine.
That speaks volumes the way she broke up with you…..remember a set back is a set up for something better.
Hey guys, just found this site, i have been going through my break-up since the first week of june and dont seem to making much headway. i feel like i have to start my days out of the dump and make a conscious effort just to last through the day. nothing makes me happy, i feel so lost and alone.
not sure what to make of it, but i found out he lied and cheated on me, i walked away, change my number and my email address. he never tried to even contact me or even to say sorry. he would call my friend and just blamed me for walking away. he got through me one day at work just to ask general questions and that was like after 2 months. he never said sorry or anything . he did not even see if i would take him back. he never even fought for us after a 15 year friendship and a 6 year relationship , he just gave up. however i am not sure if i would have taken him back after what he did. but i felt rejected because he did not even try to fight for me after he hurt me like this. he left me to pretty much die on my own. it has been very hard. we have no contact. i moved from where i lived. but now almost 2 1/2 months i still dream about him, look out for his car, still hoping that he would even try and make amends. i loved him very much i gave everything in the relationship. now i feel so lost, rejected and alone. i feel so unhappy. i try to do a lot of stuff in my spare time and get involve in many social stuff to keep occupied but when i go home i am so lost. any advice guys.,
Kris, I am sorry you are feeling like this. BELIEVE ME I can relate. I constantly question myself, my existence and self-worth because of my ex & the way he treated me post-break up. I have not cried in 2 weeks over my ex (I sort of relapsed today and took a peek at Facebook and noticed his status. But the funny thing is, I didn’t feel anything….I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t hurt, I didn’t cry!!). I am a good testament that PROGRESS is possible and you will not always feel depressed. I recommend you read through the previous posts – ALL of us felt the same way you did, so you are not alone.
To both Kris & “EXHAUSTED” – the weekends are so difficult. Monday to Friday I feel fine and motivated….But when the weekend rolls around, I used to wonder what my ex & his new girlfriend were doing. I let me ex (& the new girlfriend who doesn’t even know I exist) control my life.
Like you, Kris, I contemplated changing my phone number (I still do). 2 and a half months is not a long time – your wounds are still fresh. I would think and cry about my ex after a night out with my friends. I don’t know if it was the alcohol or the realization that I was alone in my bed. When you’re feeling like that, you should post here like I did and just vent your feelings
It helped me.
Okay…the day has come for me. It´s my ex´s b-day. I´ve been really good lately until now..why am I suddenly feeling weird about her bday??? Im sure her new BF is gonna make her day awesome…and I shoudlnt care…but the truth is that I still care…I still wanna call her and say HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ha! I´m probably just gonna text her in a polite way, just cause thats my “policy” with ex´s bdays, but..I feel weird tonite…I dunno what it is!
Anyway…more new people here…stick to NC and redo your life without them…we are ALL on the same boat. Different stories, same ending…and same future
okay im in pieces, my girlfrined dumped me 2 weeks ago although we have been in contact regularly since and 2 days ago i went to see her with a bottle of wine which she chose not to drink!! we chatted and laughed and then i brought up the subject of sex with others which she told me that needs must and shes single and were both red blooded humans!! i was devasted to hear it but laughed it off………she has been emailing me saying she misses me and still loves me but want space to see where a new path will lead her and it were meant to be then fate will intervene!! blah blah…….later that night i told her if she sleeps with anyone else whilst having thoughts that she may want us then theres no chance of me going back which she then replied – how do you know i havent already slept with someone adn that shes single and can do what she wants!! i was so upset and the left…….
shes sending out mixed messages by saying to me she still loves me and does miss me
yesterday i was up all night and come the morning i was having panic attacks and couldnt work
i went to doctors and explained all this and that i had been looking on the internet for the easiest ways to commit suicide 
i feel so low and that theres no way forward, the thought of her with someone else has made me sick, ive also seen a counsellor yesterday and will also tomorrow as well as the doctor who wants to see me again – i just keep crying..
my ex knows how much of a special bond we have and even says that she wants a strong friendship but feels it will lead to more and confuse us both!!
im struggling to carry on
BM…it will get better.
Yes, this is crushing. But you are strong you WILL make it.
Read the previous posts on this great site. We are all going through this at some stage.
Yes, the thought of your ex with someone else is hard. I try not to think about it.
Stay strong……you will make it….you will make it. I promise!
BM, Kudos to you for seeking help (counselor, doctor, internet). My ex told me the same things…..That we are “great together” but he needed to see if we were “meant for each other” by exploring other options. This is complete BS & completely unfair to us because we wait around, holding out hope that our exes will return to us. My ex keeps texting me and sending me mixed signals…even though he now has a girlfriend. I have finally learned that cutting of ALL COMMUNICATION with your ex is a MUST. you must MUST must stop responding to them. This can, in fact, work to your advantage because it will drive her crazy that you aren’t responding or acting like a lost puppy dog.
I know it’s hard to realize now, but breaking up could be the best thing that ever happened to you. I was so dependent on my ex for my happiness and future, but now that I’m single, I’m trying to recognize my priorities & life; I made a list of all that I want to accomplish, places I want to travel to, and I’ve started volunteering.
William, did you ever text your ex happy birthday?
Sofia is making a great progress here..kudos to you
I did text her…against what everybody told me. I just wanted to be the guy I am, decent and considerate, so I did it. Just a simple Happy Birthday, have a great day. She answered Thanks, hope you are doing great. Basically what I expected, so yeah…its over now (her Bday) and I feel better. Those “important” dates in the calendar are tough to go through…many feelings came back just because it was her bday..I still dont understand it, but thats what happened. I guess it´ll happen always, next thanks giving, next christmas…dates I spent with her and this year Ill be alone…for sure will be difficult. But well…I´ll have to survive
THe rule is NO happy birthdays to our exes, but I broke that rule…and Im okay with it
Be strong guys an girls..it´ll be over soon!!!!
thanks for your support guys
unfortunately i got taken to see 3 psychiatrists yesterday and they wanted to give me home visits daily but now i havent left my bed and all i can think of is taking my life – i feel this is my fault due to my longterm health anxieties
today they want me to spend a couple of days in a safe house with specialists – im so scared, everytime i close my eyes and think of her and good times, and to find out shes seeing someone else and that she lives at the top of my road – i cant get through this!! shes happy and im like this
my first thought is too find someone else but its not easy when they meant the world to you – i genuinely dont know if i can make it through this!! what do i do when i have to see her with him
BM, I know what you feel like…we all do. I know what it feels like to close my eyes and all I see are the happy times, the smiling, the laughs and the good feelings I felt. One day, perhaps after you’ve worked on your underlying issues, you will learn to close your eyes and see the way she hurt you, the way she wasn’t good for you, and the bad times. I see that now. Except lately, I’ve been feeling a little down. I heard through a mutual friend that my ex is in Sweden and brought his new girl to meet his grandparents there. He never asked to leave the country with me in 3 years..never wanted me to meet his parents or relatives. Yet after 3-4 months of dating this new girl, he’s already flying her around and being serious.
This has dug up the feelings I thought I had moved on from. I haven’t cried over this, but I feel hurt. I can feel the hurt literally in my stomach and heart. I feel like someone dug a sword into the pit of my stomach. I feel like someone is screaming “you are worthless” or “you weren’t good enough” in my ears, because that’s how I feel. Isn’t it funny how our exes can make us feel so inferior? BM, it’s hard to close your eyes at first and not see the good in your past relationship and in your girlfriend…as time goes on, bitterness and anger starts the settle in and you’ll begin to see all the cracks in your relationship.